mom should go out of town every weekend!

dude.  this weekend was awesome!  mom went to sebastopol to hang out with her friend sarah.  i had the bachelor pad all to myself!  mom said it was my big chance to prove i am responsible enough to stay home alone.  well i sure proved something, alright:

i am the most hardcore badass party animal ever!  pun intended!

this is me with my first cocktail.   as you can see i am an excellent host.  i even used the coasters.  and i provided a wide selection of snacks for my guests, both monkey and puppet friendly, since my boyz matt and marcus were coming by.  it was their job to bring the honeys.

and the honeys were smokin!

they were all “ooh staples!  your fur is so soft!  your opposable thumbs are soooooo big!”

and i was all “hey, ladies, one at a time!  there’s enough staples to go around.”

matt and marcus were trying to cramp my style.  they thought just because they brought the round table pizza, they were going to get all the action.  but i set ‘em straight.

i was all “ladies, let papa staples give you a piece of advice.  lose those chumps and get with a chimp.”  that did the trick.  i was fightin’ the honeys off with a stick for the rest of the night.  boo-ya.

oh damn.  i gotta go.  gotta get the house cleaned up before mom gets home.  i hope she doesn’t notice what i did to her car!  wish me luck.

peace.

staples t. monkey

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